i’ve been silent for quite a while… the start of the school year always catches me off guard… especially while growing a little one inside!

 

we’re down to 38 weeks today… yikes!  the car seat is in the car, the co-sleeper is set up, our hospital bag is packed, and the diaper station is all set and ready to go…

well, nearly… but, first… we’d like this little baby to turn/ flip/ do whatever it needs to do so it’s head is downward and it’s bum is the hard round thing close to my heart…

right now, and for quite a while, this babe has been hanging out comfortably in the frank breech position (butt down, legs in a pike position… nice and compact)… with its little head close to my heart…  the baby managed to fool us and several midwives who were convinced it was in the proper vertex position… but, alas… our baby has a bony bottom and that was what we all thought was the head.

so, when we found out at week 35 or, 36 that baby was breech… we started trying everything!  the breech tilt, ice on the top of the fundus, music and light down below, visualization and many many conversations with the kid, acupuncture, and moxibustion (which makes the baby wriggle its little bum and squirm around like crazy when i should be asleep at night)… and, today, at 6:30 am we went in for our external cephalic version (which didn’t really happen until around 8am).

but, this baby is incredibly stubborn and wasn’t willing to budge this morning…  (in fact, it was able to keep a steady heartbeat throughout everything!  i’m convinced this child is the next great non- violent resistant fighter.)

so, they’re going to schedule us for a caesarean… i’ve asked for it to be as close to the due date as possible as i don’t want this little one to come before it’s ready to greet the world.  we’re going to keep up with the acupuncture and moxibustion and hope that this kid is one of those babies who will turn the last minute… we’ll see…

i’ve prepared myself so much for a natural non- medicated birth… that this has totally caught me off guard.  i’ve done some crying… some forgetting of scary statistics that i’ve read in the past… some joking around… in the end though, this baby knows the best way for it to come into the world safely and i trust that…

i debated with myself as to whether or not i should write/ create this post…

it’s a bit personal… and, all about montessori… but, as i am still at montessori teacher training and it’s totally consumed my life (along with all of the kicks and jabs little baby unicorn cake is throwing at me) i decided it’s just approriate for me to…

i recently wrote the following to folks in my training course… (it says a lot about me… about where i am now… and, who i strive to be… )

I’d like to share with you something that’s been on my mind…

Being here [in Queens, NY] has not been easy for me this summer…

Coming back to training after an intense and frustrating school year
had me feeling Montessori exhausted.

Being pregnant and being here has not been easy.  (Especially knowing
baby is due during the sixth week [of my intern year]!)

Getting back into the swing of illustrating albums and eating food not
cooked by my own hands has not been easy.

I am very thankful to the folks who have made me feel welcomed into
this new (and much larger) group of 6-9 [lower elementary] folks… I am thankful to
those who have helped me to take care of myself… I am thankful to
those who share their grace and courtesy with me and to those who have
helped me to get excited to dive right into the school year again.

However, I want more…

Being a Montessori teacher, a Montessorian is more than just
illustrating albums, card work, and lessons…

It’s so much more than that.

We are patient… we are kind… we are peaceful… we are
compassionate and empathetic… we are silent… and, we speak with
carefully chosen words… we are gracious… we are nurturing… we
are able to accept guidance and give guidance… we are sensitive…
we are hopeful… we are respectful… we are responsive… we are
willing to transform… we are humans… and, we are a community.

As we prepare ourselves for our last week of training… and going
back to our lives outside of Queens College…  may we try to practice
what we will model for our students in the fall.

Let’s practice being kind to one another… patience… silence…
pausing… empathy and compassion…

Let’s practice being a community, a whole group of people who are
inclusive (rather than exclusive)… let’s be welcoming to one another
before we say our farewells…

Let’s practice respect and learn to appreciate one another…

Let’s practice building a community.

I’ll end with one of my favorite Maria Montessori quotes…

“One… must examine himself… and rid his heart of pride and anger.
He must learn how to humble himself and be clothed with charity.”

Aline D. Wolf mentions, in Nurturing the Spirit, “The journey to
wholeness cannot be made alone.”

I hope everyone has a restful and peace filled weekend!

Tiffany (and Baby Unicorn Cake)

the past week and then some…

this past week… and, for the next two weeks, i’m in queens, ny at, what i like to call it, montessori summer camp for teachers.  (or, montessori teacher training)

it’s been a big adjustment for me, even though it’s my second summer doing this… but, things are so much different this year… it’s in the city (last year it was in new rochelle, which is way mellower), it’s super hot this summer, and i’m pregnant… there is also a whole new group of people…)

 

i’m trying to make the most of it though and get lots of work done… lord knows i won’t be able to once little baby is born…

 

so, for today, all i have are some photos i took with my latest toy:

 

 

 

oh, wow!

we made it to the third trimester!  whoa!

 

 

(i can’t wait to make some of these!)

i love jen’s clothing line (hound) and the things she makes for herself so, when she put out a pattern, i was super stoked!

after having it for a while i, finally, dove in!

(i kind of always love tracing patterns… it gives me a good look into how the designer creates her/ his patterns.  with jen’s pattern, i’m not entirely sure which size i need- thanks to the growing baby- so, i definitely didn’t want to cut it out… especially after cutting and taping it all together!)

i added some length to the front to accommodate the little basketball that is growing inside of me.  i’m leaving the pocket off this one as i don’t need any more attention drawn to my boobs!  (yikes!)

as i’m not done… (it’s all cut out and pinned… now, i just need to sew it all together) you may see other versions of the tank here.

(the fabric is a batik cotton… it looks pretty “cosmic” to me… yes, i’m that montessori teacher that would love to have a special “cosmic” shirt for when i give the great lessons!)

clayton and i like to do things a little differently…

we don’t want a traditional baby shower… so, we’re going to have a “pre-baby” party!  since he and i are not married… our families have never had the opportunity to meet one another (all of them)… so, this party is just for that!  our families and friends can get together… eat food, play lawn/ summer games, and make summer crafts…  (i hope the weather is nice!)

 

 

 

adding a little color to our lives…

i am not a big fan of pastel clothing/ bedding for babies… nor do i want to confine little baby to ghastly gender specific colors (blech!)…

i want beautiful, bold, primary and secondary colors!

so, i spent some time tie- dying the other day… and am quite pleased with the results!  (there will be plenty more dying in the near future… )

growing…

our garden is growing…

the peppers…

the potatoes…

 

the tomatoes…

and the baby (and my belly)…

how i spent the first week of my summer vacation…

one of the best things about being a teacher (besides the constant gratification that one is helping to change the world for the better… and, my amazingly compassionate, brilliant students) is summer vacation.

it’s even better when you’re an adult… i don’t want to knock summer camps (oh, math/ physics camp and girls’ leadership camp… how, i did enjoy you so) and endless hours in the public library (and very heavy tote bags filled with books)… but, as an adult i can make my own decisions… move about as i want to, eat what i want (four popsicles in a two-hour span… no problem!)… and, best of all, it’s not work!

i’ve had a pretty eventful first week of summer vacation… we mudded/ plastered (which i, actually, really love) the walls of a room we’re renovating, i finished up a big sewing project, rewatched the 8th season of project runway (oh, mondo… you should have won!), started a good book, ate good food… and that’s just the first five days!

(we’re at 25 weeks… actually, tomorrow marks 26 weeks down and 14 to go!)

what happens with this mama-to-be eats too much sugar (which my body process much more slowly these days), reads too many birth stories, hears too many unsolicited opinions by (sometimes well- meaning) co-workers, is running on little sleep, and has whacked out pregnancy hormones?

 

she has a meltdown… a big, solitary, freak- out…

 

so, what does she do to help her get through it?  she takes a long warm bubble bath (which the baby loves, i think) and listens to a favorite album…

and then, things start to feel okay again…

(the rain and end of the school year clean- out/ beginning of next school year, which is going to be an insane year, prep don’t really help things at all… )